Here We Go Again...
by Audrey Brackett
Summary: Lil Spooky and the Russian You-Know-What are at it again...


AUTHOR: Kate Mulder  
TITLE: Here We Go Again...  
EMAIL: Enigma806@aol.com  
RATING: PG  
SPOILERS: Only for the Wonderchild RPG. There are a lot of inside jokes here. I'll explain them if you haven't seen it--just email me. I'm posting it in fic form soon, but if you can't wait the part up to Kate getting high is at www.delphi.com./wonderchild. But that isn't the complete Wonderchild--as far as we got on it was at the official XF Message Board on Delphi. It's not done there but there's more. We abandoned the game, and I'm writing an end as we speak. Oh, yeah, and the XF computer/Playstation game. You'll see what I mean!  
ARCHIVE: Um...if you want it, I guess that's ok. :) Just let me know.  
SUMMARY: Lil' Spooky and the Russian you-know-what are at it again. :)  
CATEGORY: Humor (I hope)--considering that "incredibly bizarre" isn't a current option.  
DISCLAIMER: I own Kate and Lyda, Alexa is on loan from Jennifer Collesel. CC owns the regular XF crew.  
NOTES: See "spoilers" for an explanation. If you want to understand Alexa, I suggest you email Jennifer at alexachekov@yahoo.com and ask her. :) LONG and involved story. Reading Wonderchild might help a little. I was in a weird mood, so I felt like doing one of Kate Mulder's stories somewhat differently--emails and IMs only. It's part of the Kate Mulder series...not the best part, necessarily. The series overall is kinda angsty humor, but I was in a weird mood.  
  
From: samantha_kate_mulder@angelfire.com  
To: RussnBitch@hotmail.com  
Subject: You-know-who  
Date: 18 May  
Time: 19:47 (Eastern Standard Time)  
Reply to: samantha_kate_mulder@angelfire.com  
CC:  
BCC:  
________________________________________  
  
Lexa! Where are you, and where is Alex? I'm worried, because Daddy isn't answering his cell phone. Maybe I'm just paranoid. He and Mom took the car keys with them when they left--I think maybe it's to keep me from driving. I know they worry. :)  
  
Kate  
  
-----------------------------------------  
  
From: RussnBitch@hotmail.com  
To: samantha_kate_mulder@angelfire.com  
Subject: Re: You-know-who  
Date: 18 May  
Time: 19:51 (Eastern Standard Time)  
Reply to: RussnBitch@hotmail.com  
CC:  
BCC:  
________________________________________  
  
I don't know where Alex is. Give it some time before you get too worried, kid, they'll turn up. If not, we'll find them ourselves. Like always. You do realize this is nothing approaching a normal life, right?  
  
As for the car keys, I'll let you drive my car sometime. Maybe. But don't tell your parents. I can understand their worries, though. Keep in mind, you're talking to a woman with 6 kids. And I'm still not sure I trust Nicky behind the wheel of a car...  
  
Alexa  
  
-----------------------------  
  
From: samantha_kate_mulder@angelfire.com  
To: RussnBitch@hotmail.com  
Subject: Re: Re: You-know-who  
Date: 18 May  
Time: 19:56 (Eastern Standard Time)  
Reply to: samantha_kate_mulder@angelfire.com  
CC:  
BCC:  
  
True, very true.   
  
You actually think I expect a normal life? My last name is *Mulder*, for God's sake!   
  
And how long should I "give it" before I worry?  
  
Kate  
  
---------------------------------  
  
From: RussnBitch@hotmail.com  
To: samantha_kate_mulder@angelfire.com  
Subject: Re: Re: Re: You-know-who  
Date: 18 May  
Time: 20:02 (Eastern Standard Time)  
Reply to: RussnBitch@hotmail.com  
CC:  
BCC:  
  
I don't know, Kate...a few more hours? How long's it been since you had contact with them last? I'll call Alexis and see what she knows.  
  
It just occured to me that we're not being very secretive. :-) I mean, look at our email addresses, for God's sake! Might as well announce ourselves to the world. Or you at least. But those who know me would recognize my email. :) Just another twisted thought brought to you from the mind of Alexa Krycek (formerly Chekov--and Scully, but *that's* another story).  
  
Alexa  
  
---------------------------------  
  
From: samantha_kate_mulder@angelfire.com  
To: RussnBitch@hotmail.com  
Subject: The even more twisted thoughts of S. Kate Mulder  
Date: 18 May  
Time: 20:09 (Eastern Standard Time)  
Reply to: samantha_kate_mulder@angelfire.com  
CC:  
BCC:  
  
I changed the subject line, it was getting kind of out of hand. :)  
  
You said it yourself, Lex...sometimes the most obvious is the best place to hide.  
  
Get on AIM, ok? We can chat with out the email. It'll be easier. And quicker! And Angelfire is being stupid and ticking me off. :-)~  
  
Kate  
  
---------------------------------  
  
"The Internet user AnnaKarenina has sent you an Instant Message. Would you like to accept?"  
Yes No Options  
  
  
  
AnnaKarenina : You're on AOL again?  
  
ALittle2Spooky: Yeah. Prodigy was acting up again. I'll have to get the LGM to take a look at it. Maybe they can help.   
  
AnnaKarenina : Word of advice, Kate. Don't give the Lone Gunmen a computer or computer accessory if you want it back in the same condition it was in when you gave it to them.  
  
ALittle2Spooky: Good point. :)  
  
AnnaKarenina : How long have your parents been missing this time?  
  
ALittle2Spooky: Last time I talked to them was last night. Daddy didn't answer his cell phone this morning--or all day. Mom didn't either.  
  
AnnaKarenina : Hmmm...  
  
ALittle2Spooky: Hmm what?  
  
AnnaKarenina : I was just thinking, any other teenager in your situation would spend the rest of her life in therapy after everything you've been through in just the past year.  
  
ALittle2Spooky: Thanks a lot!  
  
AnnaKarenina : I *meant* it as a compliment!  
  
ALittle2Spooky: Oh, ok. Sorry.  
  
AnnaKarenina : S'ok. I'll be back--gotta answer my phone. If they're calling to tell me Alex is in jail, they'd better have some other information I *don't* know!  
  
ALittle2Spooky: kk.   
  
ALittle2Spooky: :-)  
  
AnnaKarenina : I'm back. It was just Kita.   
  
ALittle2Spooky: What's wrong with that?  
  
AnnaKarenina : I'm not really in the mood to talk to any member of my family.   
  
ALittle2Spooky: I see.  
  
AnnaKarenina : You have it easy, m'dear. No kids, only your parents who are usually pretty relaxed, no husband!  
  
ALittle2Spooky: Well, if you'll recall my last (only) relationship didn't work out too well. :)  
  
AnnaKarenina : Oh, yeah, sorry. Maybe introducting you and Tim *wasn't* such a great idea...  
  
ALittle2Spooky: IT WAS YOU?!  
  
AnnaKarenina :  Well, it worked for Bill and Tara!!!  
  
ALittle2Spooky:  Sorry, sorry...I just was currently swearing my revenge on the person who locked the damn door.  
  
AnnaKarenina : Oops.   
  
ALittle2Spooky: It's ok, you couldn't have known that Tim would be a total @$$ and freak and leave me when...well, you know about that, right? I told you...  
  
AnnaKarenina: Yeah, I remember. I should have remembered that he's just like his father...  
  
ALittle2Spooky: How's that the problem? *I'm* just like *my* father!  
  
AnnaKarenina: Long story, kid...I'll tell you later. But you're still lucky. My sister's driving me crazy right now too...be glad you're an only child!  
  
ALittle2Spooky: Um...well, except Vicki, but...  
  
AnnaKarenina: Oh, jeez, kid, I forgot. I'm sorry!  
  
ALittle2Spooky: It's all right. I'm okay. I don't remember that too well...in a way, I'm glad I don't...and sometimes I wish I did.  
  
AnnaKarenina: There are certainly a few things in my life *I'd* like to not remember too well... :)  
  
ALittle2Spooky: I'd bet.  
  
AnnaKarenina: You have *no* idea. So, do I need to bill the Syndicate for two plane tickets to New Mexico or what? We are *not* driving again. After last time...  
  
ALittle2Spooky: How was I to know those brownies were laced?!  
  
AnnaKarenina: I didn't mean that. It was more what happened while you were out cold in the backseat.  
  
ALittle2Spooky: What happened?  
  
AnnaKarenina: Um...I'll tell you that later too. Suffice it to say, it involved Alexis, Byers, a very long cell phone conversation, and the fact that I realized those two had the combined knowledge level to either build an atomic bomb or take over a small country.   
  
ALittle2Spooky: Oh-kay...  
  
AnnaKarenina: As I said, long story. And there was some other stuff but I'm not going to go into details.  
  
ALittle2Spooky: I miss the most interesting things when I'm unconscious.  
  
AnnaKarenina: But you were funny high. Of course, John was pretty funny when he was high too... I am going to have to talk Frohike into taking a little trip to Maine for absolutely no reason...  
  
ALittle2Spooky: Can I come?  
  
AnnaKarenina: Sure.  
  
ALittle2Spooky: All right! And to answer your question...I don't think we need to go to New Mexico just yet. Especially considering that my parents are in Seattle.  
  
AnnaKarenina: Well, they've had trouble in Seattle, too...actually, a nearby town called Everett...  
  
ALittle2Spooky: <---pretty sure she doesn't want to know the rest of the story...  
  
AnnaKarenina: Oh, but I should tell you! I went through a rather--um--*dark* period in my life...  
  
ALittle2Spooky: Don't tell me. Darth Krycek?  
  
AnnaKarenina: Darth Krycek...that's cute...  
  
AnnaKarenina: Something similar.  
  
ALittle2Spooky: Thank you. :)  
  
AnnaKarenina: So do I need to make reservations for *Seattle* then?  
  
ALittle2Spooky: I should probably get back to you on that.  
  
AnnaKarenina: All right...  
  
AnnaKarenina: I must admit, I do get a little nervous when Alex and anyone else "just happen" to be missing at the same time...  
  
ALittle2Spooky: You're not the only one!  
  
AnnaKarenina: Especially when the "anyone else" involved happen to be your parents...  
  
ALittle2Spooky: Oh, yeah, Lex, way to reassure my fears...  
  
AnnaKarenina: LOL, sorry. They've been okay before.  
  
ALittle2Spooky: Or at least a reasonable fascimile thereof.  
  
AnnaKarenina:  You *are* just like your father, Kate... Ooh!  
  
ALittle2Spooky: What?  
  
AnnaKarenina: Mental image...  
  
ALittle2Spooky: Care to share with the rest of the class?  
  
AnnaKarenina: Just a mental picture of your father crouching down in front of your high chair with a stuffed alien doll, coaxing you to say your first words..."A-lee-un"... :-)  
  
ALittle2Spooky: LOL! I can see this myself...and I *did* have a stuffed alien! It was green instead of grey...but I still loved him. My Alien Bob...  
  
AnnaKarenina: Alien Bob?  
  
ALittle2Spooky: Well, he was just Bob until I was about 4. *Then* he was Alien Bob. I knew he wasn't real--or any representation of anything real--but I did love my Alien Bob. You know how kids are.  
  
AnnaKarenina: Back up a minute. You didn't believe in aliens then?  
  
ALittle2Spooky: Sure I did. But Bob was green. Neon green, actually.  
  
AnnaKarenina: So?  
  
ALittle2Spooky: Reticulans are grey.  
  
AnnaKarenina: Oh.  
  
ALittle2Spooky: I'd better go--I'm gonna run up to the grocery store...  
  
AnnaKarenina: Isn't that kind of far?  
  
ALittle2Spooky: Not Giant...it's only about a mile. I'd drive, but they took the car keys!  
  
AnnaKarenina: Why? You low on food or something?  
  
ALittle2Spooky: Not really--but I'm out of sunflower seeds.  
  
AnnaKarenina: I see.  Definitely your father's child...I'll see ya.  
  
ALittle2Spooky: Yeah, see ya.  
  
AnnaKarenina: Take care. If we don't contact them before tomorrow, we'll head out.  
  
ALittle2Spooky: You too. Sounds good.  
  
---------------------------------  
  
From: spookys_baby_girl@hotmail.com  
To: queen_nothing_the_first@angelfire.com  
Subject: Leavin' on a jet plane.  
Date: 19 May  
Time: 07:11 (Eastern Standard Time)  
Reply to: spookys_baby_girl@hotmail.com  
CC:  
BCC:  
  
Lyda--  
I'm going to Seattle, thank God this is the weekend! I had enough problems *last* time explaining to the attendance secretary at Paint Branch High why I wasn't going to be in for 3 or 4 days... :) I'll call when I get in.  
  
Kate  
  
---------------------------------  
  
From: fox_w_mulder@fbi.gov  
To: elizabeth_farraday@paintbranch.edu  
Subject: Samantha Kate Mulder  
Date: 19 May  
Time: 07:18 (Eastern Standard Time)  
Reply to: fox_w_mulder@fbi.gov  
CC:  
BCC: RussnBitch@hotmail.com  
  
Dear Miss Farraday:  
  
My daughter Kate's presence is required with me in Seattle, Washington this weekend--it's something of a family trip. I do not believe this will take longer than the weekend, but if complications with our travel arrangements arrive, Kate will not be in to school on Monday. I realize she was gone for quite some time two months ago, but those were extentuating circumstances. I trust you understand.   
  
Thank you,  
Fox Mulder  
  
---------------------------------  
  
From: darth_krycek@hotmail.com  
To: ALittle2Spooky@aol.com  
Subject: I'm almost there!  
Date: 19 May  
Time: 07:23 (Eastern Standard Time)  
Reply to: RussnBitch@hotmail.com  
CC:  
BCC:   
  
I'm on my laptop, I'll be in Silver Spring in minutes. Our reservations are secure. We'll be on the 8am flight to Seattle. We're Karen and Theresa MacNamera again. I got reservations for this cute little motel in Everett too. Trust me, I've stayed there before. So have your parents.  
  
You mom and dad will be ok, we just have to ensure it. Like always, huh?  
  
BTW, I got the copy of your email to the secretary. Very nice, very convincing. Don't you feel the least bit guilty about hacking into your dad's email and fooling that poor woman, though? :) Bet Langly taught you that trick...  
  
Alexa  
  
---------------------------------  
  
From: ALittle2Spooky@aol.com  
To: RussnBitch@hotmail.com  
Subject: Re: I'm almost there!  
Date: 19 May  
Time: 07:26 (Eastern Standard Time)  
Reply to: RussnBitch@hotmail.com  
CC:  
BCC:   
  
Yes, he did.  
  
And, no I don't, actually. Daddy understands... :) Or, in any case, he knows. ;-P  
  
Kate  
  
---------------------------------  
  
To: ALittle2Spooky@aol.com  
From: queen_nothing_the_first@angelfire.com  
Subject: Have fun?  
Date: 22 May  
Time: 11:21 (Eastern Standard Time)  
Reply to: lil_miss854@go.com  
CC:  
BCC:   
  
Well, didja? I assume tracking down your FBI parents must be something of a hobby for you by now, Sammi, my girl. Ok, I won't call you "Sammi". I'll call you Samantha. :)  
  
Just kidding, Kate, glad you're back and everyone's all right.  
  
Lyda H. Fahx  
  
---------------------------------  
  
To: ALittle2Spooky@aol.com  
From: darth_krycek@hotmail.com  
Subject: Quick, call 911--there's going to be a murder.  
Date: 22 May  
Time: 11:28 (Eastern Standard Time)  
Reply to: RussnBitch@hotmail.com  
CC:  
BCC:   
  
Kate, darling, I'm glad we made it there and back in one piece--and with your parents.  
  
But Alex still isn't back.  
  
And when he is, he's a dead man.  
  
But admit it. Craig Willmore is kind of cute.  
  
Don't ask me what that has to do with anything. Just an observation. :-)  
  
Alexa  
  
---------------------------------  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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